


Lightning Storms

by CatlixMeowscouty



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Households, Acceptance, Angst, Anxiety, Arguments, Blood, Car Accidents, Comas - Freeform, Coming Out, Denial, Depressions, F/F, Gen, Genderfluid Nishinoya Yuu, Hospitals, Love, M/M, Multi, Neglectful Parents, OT3, Panic Attacks, Trans Male Character, Transgender Hinata Shouyou, Transgender Kozume Kenma, injuries, thoughts of self harm, vague suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:30:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatlixMeowscouty/pseuds/CatlixMeowscouty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A storm is brewing. Everyone can feel it, from the crows in the sky to the cats in the alley. However, nobody knows how to deal with the aftermath. But they can sure as hell try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Forewarning- Ships listed as background ships will be addressed and pretty damn blatant. They just aren't the focus of this fic! :)

_A storm is brewing._

 

 All the members of Karasuno High's volleyball team could feel it. The static rose the hair on their arms and the back of their necks. The birds are quiet, watching and observing the impending storm. Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio stand face to face, fists clenched and teeth bared like wolves. It wasn't unusual for the dynamic duo of the team to argue but this was different. Terrifyingly so. Normally their fights would be over some stupid thing, like the last meat bun or a missed receive. They were inseparable, with gentle looks and touches but no confessions, no truths shared. It was clear to anyone, even an outsider, that the two cared for each other. So forgive them if it was jarring to see the hate in Kageyama's eyes as he screamed at Hinata outside of Sakonoshita.

   "At least I'm not a girl." Kageyama yells, crossing his arms angrily, barely noticing the rest of the team has gone silent. Hinata opens his mouth to respond but falters, the fire in his eyes dying. He looks uncertain, blinking again and again before tears brim over and onto his cheeks. Kageyama looks shocked, looking down at his hands. He did this. "Shouyou, I'm-"

 "I hate you." Hinata whispers, angrily wiping tears from his cheeks before turning tail and fleeing. Kageyama starts after him, only to be stopped by Daichi's hand gripping the back of his shirt. His senpai looks angry, angrier than he's ever seen the man before. Before he can think about it, he hears the sound of yelling, and tires screeching.

 

_Dark storm clouds move into front of the sun. There's a thud. Then silence. Deadly silence._

 

   "Hinata!!" Noya screams and the moment unfreezes, everyone rushing forward to a small, crumpled form on the road. Daichi lets go of Kageyama's shirt before grabbing his phone and dialing for an ambulance. Suga's worried hands fret over the prone form that simply could not be Hinata. Not him, no. Anyone but.

 Kageyama doesn't move for a long time. Doesn't move when the ambulance comes and goes, and not when the crowd dissipates. Practice is canceled for tomorrow and Hinata's mom is called and Tobio still hadn't moved besides to sit down and set his head in his hands. He feels cold and numb. Sick and wrong. He feels disgusted in his fault. Daichi and Suga tried telling him that it isn't his fault. That it was the driver's, that she had been texting but all Kageyama heard were lies. All he could think was that it was his fault, his fault, his fault. He drove Shouyou to run away.

 

_Lightning strikes._


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first stage of grief is denial. While the team deals with it, Ukai and Takeda take home a stray.

_The stages of grief are a complicated thing. It's ridiculous to expect people who have lost a loved one or a pet to drop everything they're doing to read up on them. Hell, it's hard to imagine anyone who isn't a college student or therapist to know anything about it._

 

_Denial. The act of simply refusing the truth. Or not believing it._

 

_Denial rippled through Karasuno High._

 

_You see, despite knowing the facts, people who are grieving try to act as if the truth isn't right in front of them._

. 

  Ukai Keishin was a smart man. He always prided himself on this fact, that nothing could shake his resolve. That idealism was crumbling before his eyes as he addressed the team. His team.

 

"Listen. I know this is tough, believe me, I do." He breaks off for a second, looking to the side at Takeda and trying to swallow down the stubborn lump in his throat. His partner looked at him, smiling reassuringly and Ukai continued, testing out the words in his mouth. "As you all know, Hinata Shouyou got into an accident yesterday. Unfortunately, he's been put in an induced coma."

 

  A hush come over the slight murmuring in the crowd. Pale, worried faces stare back at him. He can't help but notice that Kageyama was not one of them. He had heard from Daichi that the boy hadn't moved from his position outside of Ukai's family's store. He would have to check for himself. But now, he had to comfort his team.

 

"As a result of this, practice is canceled for the foreseeable future. Keep in mind, Hinata has visiting hours, but only two people-" He starts the generic talk, the one he had received from a nurse, but he is stopped by someone raising in the crowd. Nishinoya clears his throat, fists clenched and Ukai can see Asahi struggling to hold the small boy back.

 

  "Bullshit!" He yells, voice cracking with emotion and Ukai blinks, surprised. Takeda stiffens by his side, hand finding Ukai's own and holding on for dear life. Ukai stands up straight, prepared to respond to Noya's (not so) strange outburst but the boy is suddenly speaking again.

 

"You expect me to believe Hinata would want this? The Hinata I knew-" Nishinoya pales, stuttering before shaking his head. "The Hinata I know would want us to get better! Sitting around on our asses and crying all day won't do a thing! The only thing that we can rely on is that we'll be better when Hinata wakes up. For him!"

 

  For a small fry, his voice echoes around the gymnasium with surprising volume. Color floods his cheeks and he sits down, but he doesn't apologize. Ukai doesn't want him to. Slowly, the team finds themselves nodding along with Noya's words. Takeda tugs on Ukai's arm, getting his attention.

 

"They need this." Is all he says, in a quiet tone reserved for Ukai. The man knows that he's right, and finds himself cracking, resolve crumbling under the careful watch of Ittetsu. He clears his throat, drawing the attention back to him. The gym is silent for a moment, suffocatingly so.

 

  "You guys want this?" He asks, and the team collectively nods without hesitation. Slowly, Ukai smiles and the corners of his eyes crinkle. If they keep this up, he's get crow's feet by the time Hinata is awake. "Alright then. For Shouyou!"

 

There's a collective cheer and Ukai can't help himself from adding something more.

 

  "50 laps."

 

The cheer turns to a groan.

.

 When the sky gets dark and the stars come out, Ukai can't help but wonder how lucky he is. He has a team that relies on him, a partner who loves him.. he wonders what would happen if Hinata died. And maybe it's selfish, but he decides that if Hinata dies, he'll kill him. He tells Takeda that much on their walk back to their apartment. 

 

"But Keishin! He's had enough injuries to last a lifetime!" The smaller man cries and Ukai can't help but laugh, pressing a kiss to his temple and ignoring the bright blush that descends on both of their cheeks. Before he can get another word in, Takeda is stopping, staring at something and it takes Ukai a moment to register what it is.

 

  When he finally does, Takeda nods at him before starting to walk home. This is his fight, his responsibility. His team. Ukai has never appreciated and hated his boyfriend this much before. Slowly, he approaches the form sitting by the curb.

 

"Your parents aren't worried?" He asks quietly, sitting down next to the boy. Kageyama makes a soft sound, wrapping his arms around himself defensively. He's shivering, Ukai notes. Who knows how long he's been there. "They don't care." The boy finally responds. Ukai feels a pang of pity. He knows how that feels too.

 

  "When was the last time you ate?" He asks gently, afraid to spook Kageyama. He's never seen the setter so quiet and fragile before. It scared him, quite frankly. Kageyama mutters something bitter, looking up at Ukai before raising his voice. "It can't be Hinata."

 

Ukai is confused. Besides blatantly ignoring the question, Kageyama answered a completely different one. Kageyama must have seen the confusion on his face, because he clarifies. "In the road. It... there's no way it was him. He wasn't talking, or moving or.." Kageyama gulps in a breath of air, desperately needing it. It makes Ukai's heart hurt. "He was just.. lying there."

 

  Shaking his head, Ukai stands up, stretching slowly before offering a hand to Kageyama, who takes it without a second thought. "How about you come over for dinner? I'm sure we still have meat buns leftover.." Kageyama starts to deny his coach's request but his stomach betrays him. Ukai smiles as Kageyama glares at the offending organ.

 

"I.. okay."

.

  Kageyama ends up staying over, sleeping on the couch while Takeda fusses over the raven-haired boy. Ukai watches from the kitchen, taking a bite out of the apple in his hand. Takeda finally gives up, handing Kageyama the pile of fluffy blankets and pillows and stalking over to Ukai. Slowly, they get ready for bed themselves.

 

"He's really upset." Takeda's quiet voice breaks the silence once he lays down, book in hand. Ukai looks out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth. He knows what Takeda's talking about, and he nods to let him continue. "He keeps denying that it's true.. like we're all lying or confused or something.. I'm kind of worried." He finishes, wringing his hands. Ukai finishes up, turning off the light before tucking into bed with Ittetsu.

 

  "It's part of grief, 'keda. It's normal.. but I agree. The sooner he understands that it's true, the sooner he apologizes and the sooner this all blows over." He murmurs, nuzzling in Takeda's side. The man sighs, setting his book to the side before turning to face Ukai.

 

"I just hope Hinata wakes up."

_._

_The stages of grief are a stupid, stupid thing. It's horrible to expect people who have lost a loved one or a pet to drop everything they're doing to go through them. Hell, it's hard to imagine ever having to deal with them yourself._

 

_Denial. The act of simply refusing the truth. Or not believing it._

 

_Denial rippled through the team._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated! 
> 
> I just started watching Haiykuu two days ago, so please point out any mistakes. :)


	3. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya has never had to deal with one of his friends leaving him before. And he'll be damned if Hinata leaves him after all that they've been through together.
> 
> \--EDITED 8/31/2016--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not even going to lie, it was @TheRealKags that made me get off my ass and write this chapter. Thanks for all the comments and kudos, everyone! :)

  You wouldn't think grief and anger went together. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong. Very wrong. Anger and grief went together like pieces of a puzzle. Where grief was Yin, cold and dark, anger was most definitely Yang- seething and bright like the sun. 

 

Balled up fists, insults thrown like paper airplanes. Hissing screams and burning tears. Understanding and denial.

 

  Anger was a dark, curious subject. Having the ability to hurt the ones closest to you in your sorrow, or hurt yourself was nothing to be light about. 

 

If anger was a pool, Karasuno dove headfirst into the deep end.

 

.

 

  Azumane Asahi was certainly a coward in some people's eyes. With a hulking stature, muscled arms and hair to rival a lion's mane, he was deserving of the title of ace. He was everything Nishinoya Yuu and Tanaka Ryuunosuke were not. Quiet, anxious, respectful. And most noticeably, tall. But that's not the point.

 

Where Asahi was quiet and reserved with his grief, Noya got in your face. Everyone is capable of blame, including themself. They shouldn't have let this happen, this isn't what Hinata would've  wanted. Where Tanaka threw punches, Asahi looked away, avoiding confrontation when he heard the whispers in the halls. The whispers that Noya had no emotion and just wanted to get on with his life. That they didn't care.

 

  Asahi can't help but scoff just a bit at the assumptions and rumors. Would they still be whispering insults in the halls if they saw how Noya was without people watching? Quiet, biting their lip and trying not to think about Hinata in that hospital bed, pale and wired to many machines. Hell, even in school Asahi couldn't help but notice the teen pressing closer to him and Tanaka. He's certain the whispers have reached their ears too. If only-

 

"Asahi!" A voice breaks through his thoughts and he jumps, face flushing. He shouldn't have let himself get lost in thought like that, but he did. Not that it was unusual for the ace to be staring off into space and working himself into a panic over a test or a previous conversation. Ah, but he was still doing it. Shaking his head lightly, Asahi throws a look over his shoulder as he shrugs on his street clothes.

 

  "Asahi, what's taking so long? You're just getting dressed! Hinata would've been out the door by now." Noya teased, but Asahi hears their voice falter on the last sentence. Nonetheless he still hurries up, shoving his volleyball uniform into the locker and shouldering his bag. "You didn't have to wait up.." He starts but Tanaka and Noya shake their head mutely.

 

"Yes we did." Tanaka says, but Noya's voice had gone quiet. Now that they're out of the gym and on the way home, Noya had allowed themself to press against Asahi's side in between his boyfriends, soaking in the man's heat. Hesitantly, their hand twines with their partners'. Asahi blushes, still not used to being able to do that with his libero. He decides to not comment on Noya's uncharacteristically quiet tone, instead enjoying the weather, Tanaka's idle comments and the weight of his libero on his side.

 

.

 

  The day after Ukai's little 'inspirational' speech, Daichi and Suga had posted a chart on the board next to the locker rooms. Figuring the visitor limit on a room was bound to get in the way, they had set up time-slots for visiting. It was a little too organized for many of the students' tastes, but nonetheless all the slots were filled.

 

Noya was the last to sign up. Putting it off to the side, they came to their boyfriends when Suga cornered him about selecting a time. The co-captain was surprised when Noya told him about their hesitance, assuming the short libero would be the first to sign up to visit Hinata. In the end, Asahi had to sign them all up for a time, considering just the sight of the chart made Noya irritated.

 

  "I'm just saying, Suga's not gonna know if we don't go, I mean, nobody watching us.. right? So they-" Noya is rambling, seated between Tanaka and Asahi on the subway, as if talking will make the time go slower. After several awkward and even pitying looks, Tanaka rests a hand on Noya's thigh. The other goes silent, resting their own hand on the boy's and not looking at either of their partners. Asahi just sighs, leading them off the train at their stop and ignoring the way Nishinoya is  dragging their feet.

 

"I thought you'd want to see him today." Asahi says quietly but Noya hears him. They let go of his hand, crossing their arms and honest to God pouting. Asahi immediately feels bad, trying to placate Noya but the younger won't have it, dragging all three of them to a stop on the sidewalk outside of the hospital. "Yuu, I'm sorry-"

 

  "Stop apologizing for it!" Noya bursts out, shoving Asahi a little. It's loud, even for Nishinoya and both men can only gape at their partner. "It's not your fault. It's not Ukai's or even Kageyama's... okay, it's some of Kageyama's fault but.." Noya winds down, losing all the confidence that was running through their veins a moment prior. "It's my fault."

 

Tanaka and Asahi are startled, quiet until Noya's eyes start tearing up. Then Tanaka practically lunges forward, bending down to wipe them from Noya's eyes. Asahi had never seen the other cry and he'll be damned if that changes now. Noya is strong, and neither Tanaka or Asahi could handle watching them break.

 

  "No, no. it really is my fault. I knew.. I knew that Hinata was transgender and I- I thought that if he wanted to tell the others they would accept. I was the one who got him to tell Kageyama and I should've known better. Not everyone is as accepting as you guys are.. I should've been watching his back through this. Through all of this!" Their volume is steadily rising, but they ignore the dirty looks from nurses and visitors alike. They only have eyes for their boyfriends.

 

Asahi shakes his head, hands gripping Noya's in a desperation he's never shown. "Yuu, no. I swear, it's not your fault. Nobody made him run, and nobody made the driver of that car hit him. It was just a freak occurrence. We can't help that.. but what we can do is wait, and hope. And we can be there for each other through this." Asahi trails off, tears prickling at his own eyes and makes a little yelping noise when Noya wraps their arms around his neck, holding on for dear life and wiping tears and snot into Asahi's shirt. Asahi couldn't care less. He feels Tanaka join them, and the three of them cling to each other like a lifeline.

 

 "I think I'm ready." They say, drawing away with red eyes and redder knuckles. Asahi nods, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on their forehead and smile. Holding onto each others' hands for dear life, they enter the hospital.

 

.

  It's sterile in the white, blinding halls of the hospital and Noya can't help but wrinkle their nose. This is a place devoid of love, soul and life. They hate that Hinata was here. This place would remove the sun from that boy's eyes.

 

"Ah, I see you're here to seeTsubaka! Her little sister's been a terror, albeit a cute one. Follow me!" The nurse is too chipper, smile too tight to be natural. She doesn't listen when Noya quietly corrects her usage of Hinata's pronouns or his name, but they settle down when Tanaka squeezes their hand comfortingly. 

 

  "Here we are! The Hinata family isn't there right now, you have maybe 15 minutes until they're back from lunch." With that, she bows and exits, leaving Noya, Tanaka and Asahi to suffocate in a sea of name-brand cleaning product smell and the beep of heart monitors. Noya almost walks out right then, if it wasn't for the other two's presence at their side.

 

It's quiet, way too quiet for any room that Hinata would ever be in. The blinds are shut, and there's a vase of sunflowers by the window, wilting with no sun to face. Noya thinks that normally, Hinata would've been their sun. Silently, they stalk over to the curtains and slams them wide open, letting light flood into the room. Asahi and Tanaka quietly mill behind them, pulling a chair up to Hinata's bedside and clearing a few dead petals from the windowsill. 

 

  Noya stops suddenly, eyeing the vase. They so very badly want to smash it, to shatter the cheap blue glass against the ground until they cuts their hands and bleed out. They don't, instead filling up at plastic cup with water to refill the vase. They both think the sunflowers look happier now.

 

Inevitably, Noya turns and has to face Hinata. His body is pale, light freckles standing out even more against the papery skin. His eyes are closed, and his chest rises slowly with the beeps of the monitor. Noya feels sick to their stomach. Shakily, they sit down in the chair Tanaka pulled out for them, resting their head in their hands.

  "Are you okay?" Asahi's voice pulls them out of the past, flinging them into the present. Quietly, they hold out shaking arms and luckily his partners recognize what they want, wrapping the teen in their arms and letting them rest for once, shielding them from the world. Noya sniffles once, twice, and then it's silent again. Save for the beep of the heart monitor, steady as always even when the people surrounded it aren't.

 

"Thank you."

 

.

  
  


  Kageyama sits on Ukai and Takeda-sensei's couch, cradling a cup of soup in his hands and letting the warmth seep into his body. He's exhausted, mentally and physically. Sometimes he wishes he could turn back time.

 

He doesn't know why he let it slip out. Those words. They've been bouncing around in his head ever since, taunting him with their anger and hate. He feels sick, and disgusted with himself. Shouyou had confided in him, told him about his gender and his sexuality and goddammit, he had betrayed that trust. 

 

  Now Hinata was in the hospital, and it was his fault.

 

Kageyama sets down his soup, having lost his appetite, and curls on his side. He knows he should go home, as to not worry his senpais but he can't bring himself to think of home. God knows what hell is awaiting him at home. He'd rather take the hell in his head, as cliché as it sounds. 

 

  Sighing, he gets up. Ukai and Takeda were out at the moments, probably walking back from the school this very moment. He couldn't bring himself to go to school this morning and the two men had understood, calling him out sick and leaving him home. They trusted him. Hinata had trusted him. He's afraid of himself.

 

Gently, he washes the cup, pouring most of the soup down the drain. He hadn't managed many bites before thoughts of Hinata invaded his head. It's still more than he's eaten in days. He knows he should visit the redhead in the hospital, but there's always that fear that he's not welcome. Suga had been texting him nonstop about signing up for a spot to visit, texted until Kageyama's phone was dead. He didn't bother charging it again.

 

  It's depression, he knows it is. Having dealt with it before, he knows the signs and how to fight it but honestly, he'd rather let it swallow him whole. He deserves it. And on second thought, maybe he will visit Hinata. He needs to apologize. He needs to confess, to be honest. He needs to tell him he's sorry and needs to watch him breathe. Let himself know that Hinata is still there. Kageyama won't let him let go. Not yet.

 

Kageyama wraps his arms around himself, sweater too tight on him. It still smells like Hinata, and the scent itself makes Kageyama warm. He makes himself a promise that he'll visit soon. And maybe, just maybe, Hinata can hear him.

 

  One can only hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to be off at a band camp for the next week, I will get another chapter up around the 15th IF I don't bring my laptop. As always, comments and kudos are appreciated. Take care of yourselves, mes amis.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a long ride folks, so buckle up. No, seriously. The main focus of this fic is friendship and denial. Acceptance and grief. Love and tears. Dramatic authors notes and irregular updates! In all seriousness, this is my first fanfiction for this fandom and I will try to stay as in character as I can but.. we all know how that works. Comments and Kudos are appreciated greatly! :)


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